How to Pack Properly for the Holiday: A Master Tutorial
It's summertime already, but still: here's how to pack properly for the summer holiday this year.
The manual:
1. First of all, put a tin coffin on the roof of your car, so that you'll be stored properly in case you croak under the hot summer sun.
2. Next, make sure that you have plenty of backup vehicles on top of the tin coffin, just in case your car breaks down. And remember to keep backups for the backups handy, as well.
3. Always bring good mood with you. Therefore it is highly recommended to install a toy synthesizer directly on your windshield on top of the windshield wipers. Screw the wipers - it'll be hot and sunny anyway!
4. You mustn't starve, so bring a little bag with 5 huge potatoes with you. In case of an emergency, you can fry your chips directly on the highway.
5. Stay in touch with the world, therefore always bring a two-way radio (CB station) with you. Radio waves never fail and they never get bad coverage.
6. In case the sea dries out when you get there, bring along the biggest satellite dish you can get your hands on, just so that you can have a decent bath in it anyway. In this case, don't forget to pray for the rain well in advance!
7. For a decent airconditioning, simply leave the trunk open before you start your journey.
8. Go to the nearest dump-site and stuff the inside of your car so thoroughly with as much junk as you can get. This way you'll be safely jammed between the steering wheel and the back of your seat, so you won't need neither the airbags nor the safety belt, because you won't be able to move anyway.
9. Make sure your back suspension is neatly broken, so that your car sits very aerodynamically on the ground. This way you don't have to worry about the breaks even on the steepest hill.
10. Have lots of fun, since a safe journey is guaranteed in any case!
(P.S. This is NOT my car, nor is this my way of packing!)
posted by Wolf @ 10:32 AM
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